At long last, we Canadians are realizing what harm we are doing to our precious environment. And, being the good citizens we are, we’re now beginning to make a real effort to change our destructive habits.
But in our haste to mend our ways, we’re having trouble deciding what exactly it is we should and shouldn’t be doing to help save our world. There is so much conflicting information floating around, it’s been hard to know what’s right and wrong. Until now, that is.
Here is a definitive list of environmentally friendly tips for the average person. It should be all you need to get you going down the right path.
1. Burger containers at some restaurants are now made from material that is biodegradable. Some of the burgers, however, are not. Go ahead and eat the containers.
2. To solve the problem of people throwing litter on your lawn as they walk by your house, it is recommended you put a large garbage can at the end of your driveway with a sign: Please DO NOT Deposit Litter In Can.
3. Biodegradable garbage bags with drawstring closers make a handy substitute for disposable diapers, which take decades to disintegrate. Simply place the baby’s lower half in the bag, tighten the drawstring up snugly around his or her waist and change bags when appropriate.
4. Plastic shopping bags are harmful to the environment so it is recommended that you do not use them to carry home grocery items from the store. An alternative, is to put your purchases in the pockets of your pants, shirt, coat, etc. The pockets on trouser-type slacks can hold up to a half dozen oranges and if you wear a hat, you should be able to tuck several small things under it. For those bigger shopping sprees, take the whole family and fill their pockets too. Take care where you stuff frozen foods.
5. Conservation of water is important in these days of the greenhouse effect. It is recommended in summer that you shower in the spray from your lawn sprinkler, thus accomplishing two jobs at once. Neighbours will get used to the sight of your naked body frolicking through your backyard and may even join you in time.
6. Composting of biodegradable food wastes plus lawn clippings and leaves will produce fresh, loamy soil which you can spread around in your flower beds and garden. Even fill up the flower pots in your house. After you’ve run out of places to put it, dump it over the fence into the neighbour’s yard, take it out in the country at night and throw it in a farmer’s field, or sell it. Erect a sign: Soil. For Sale. Dirt Cheap. Or: Mud Pies. Fresh Daily.
7. To reduce toxic fuel emissions from your car or truck, cut your driving in half. Drive to work, then walk home. The next day, walk to work and drive home. If you work in Kitchener and live in Stratford, set aside a few extra minutes for commuting.
8. Learn to like weeds. Who says stinkweeds stink? Who says dandelions aren’t dandy? Why get crabby over crabgrass? Bond with your bindweed. Kith a thistle. Throw away your herbicides and pesticides. Bugs are beautiful.
9. Pester your friends and family about their lack of environmental consciousness. This will eventually result in fewer trips between their houses and yours, leading to significant reductions in fuel consumption and pollution from exhaust emissions.
10. Listen to your old Mom Nature. She just wants us to clean up our rooms.
©1989 Jim Hagarty
