In countries overseas where I have travelled, it is not uncommon to be approached by children begging for money. In my country Canada, of course, that doesn’t happen.
BING BONG!
“Yes.”
“You wanna buy some chocolate-covered almonds?”
“What’s the money for?”
“My school.”
“Yes, but, what exactly at your school is it going towards?”
“Oh. Ah, I dunno. A trip somewhere.”
“OK. I’ll take two boxes.”
BING BONG!
“Yes.”
“Would you like to sponsor me in a read-a-thon?”
“How much?”
“I’m supposed to read 10 books. Most people are giving me $5.”
“What’s the money for?”
“My school.”
“But, what exactly at your school?”
“I dunno. It’s just for the school.”
“OK – Put me down for $5.”
BING BONG!
“Yes.”
“Hi. Would you like to buy a chocolate bar?”
“What’s it for?”
“School.”
“Yes, but, for what at school?”
“I dunno.”
“You don’t have any idea?”
“I think it’s for a trip.”
“OK. Give me a bar.”
BING BONG!
“Yes.”
“Would like to buy a bag of potato chips?”
“For your school?”
“No. For my soccer team.”
“Is your soccer team going on a trip?”
“I dunno.”
“OK. Give me a bag.”
BING BONG!
“Hi. Have you heard the good news about God?”
“Yes I have.”
SLAM!
BING BONG!
“Hi. Would you to buy some flowers?”
“What for?”
“To support youth employment.”
“How is my buying flowers going to help youth employment?”
“Ah …”
“No!”
BING BONG!
“No!”
BING BONG!
“No!”
BING BONG!
“No!”
The good news is, my meetings of Curmudgeons Anonymous are going nicely. Next week, I get to tell my story. Now if I can just get through Halloween without chasing anybody down the street, I just might make it.
©1994 Jim Hagarty
