You know, it’s hard to be optimistic about the human race and I hate to have to say this for the first time, but what is the world coming to? There I am, bagging my groceries at the checkout as they come down the conveyor belt, when a woman shopper on the other side of the collection spot reaches out and grabs a loaf of bread. The problem was, that was my loaf of bread. I couldn’t believe my eyes. She tried to steal my bread right in front of me. Did she think she would get away with it? I was standing right there, for the love of Tommy Smothers.
I quickly grabbed the loaf in question and for a few seconds, our eyes locked as tightly as both of our hands were clenched on the bread. Her eyes were steely blue and cold. Non apologetic, to be precise. It was a little chilling, really, to look through those dark portals into an empty cavern where a soul should have been. Suddenly, she let go of the prize, realizing, I guess, that I would be no easy foe. It’s a little something left over from my teaching days. One glare from me, and young hearts were instantly changed – and usually frozen in their tracks.
I finished loading my bags, as the woman across from me filled hers. She turned, without a word, and left the store. I delivered my cart to the store lobby, grabbed my bags and headed for the car. Opening the trunk, I happened to look into my bags to notice that there were two loaves of bread in them. But I had only bought one!
OH. MY. GOD. I looked all around the parking lot but there was no sign of the poor, aggrieved woman who had been robbed of her loaf of bread that day by an absent-minded hyena of a man. Well, at least she had a story for her family at supper. I also had a story, and an extra loaf of bread. Plus a load of guilt heavier than the woman and her bread put together.
We ate the bread. To be honest, it didn’t taste all that great.
©2013 Jim Hagarty
